No longer.
Today marks the start of Record Review Month. Throughout June (and I guess this last week of May), I'm going to put up 2-3 reviews a week. These will be a mix of the reviews that were promised and the shit I've been listening to in the meantime that I can't live without sharing.
To kick things off, I'm starting with the first record I listened to. This one comes from my friend Ethan.
Hairspray: The Original Broadway Cast Recording
NCIS
The Tennessee Titans
The fact that "Fast & Furious" is still a thing
US Senator Angus King
Theater Music
This is a non-comprehensive list of things that I have no strong feelings about whatsoever. I technically know that they exist, and I'm aware that a fair number of people out in the nebulous "there" care passionately about them. But try as I might, I can't bring myself to either love them, hate them, or really give them any thought at all. Perhaps it's for this reason that Ethan decided to inflict Hairspray: The Original Broadway Cast Recording on me.
To give the uninitiated some background here, Hairspray is the story of a chubby girl from Baltimore who loves Rock n' Roll, loves dancing and really wants to be on the city's imitation of American Bandstand. Love plots and gratuitous dance routines ensue. Now, prior to this little "experiment", my only exposure to Hairspray was the 2007 film version, which I quite liked. But listening to the original cast recording without any of the play's simple, yet engaging story, I can't say that I've developed any new found passion for the medium. Hammy vocal performances, tropey songwriting and an undying devotion to the play's ridiculous caricature of early rock make this recording the audio embodiment of everything that turns me off about Broadway music.
Where to begin?
The first and most egregious mistake here is Marissa Jaret Winokour being front and center as the lead. She has that pitchy, sing-songy voice that's very typical of Broadway musicals. For those who listen to a great deal of this type of music, it's probably par for course. But I just find her unquantifiably irritating. The antagonist, portrayed by Linda Hart, isn't much better. With their powers combined, those two take up the vast majority of the record's 17 song tracklist. Tracks like "Good Morning Baltimore", "Mama I'm a Big Girl Now" and "I Can Hear Bells" are so bluntly saccharine that listening to them was almost physically painful.
Which brings me to the music. Like Chicago before it, Hairspray attempts to use the emergence of a controversial new music scene to drive the plot forward. Unlike Chicago, which truly did feature some excellent early jazz stylings, the 60s rock n' roll on display here is about as authentic as a plastic lawn flamingo. It tries to sound like a colorful version of the real thing, but never feels like anything but another collection of showtunes. What makes this particularly unforgiveable in this instance is that many of rock's early hits WERE re-imagined showtunes, so it's not as if the blueprint for a more genuine sound wasn't there. This lack of musical authenticity is only compounded by the cast's female vocalists, who simply are not singing early sixties rhythm and blues. The attempt to capture the spirit of early rock n' roll is obvious, but the individual elements that the record employs to do so seldom work well enough in tandem to be effective.
None of this is to say that there aren't moments of brilliance. To its credit, when Hairspray succeeds, it does so in marvelous fashion. "(You're) Timeless to Me" is a duet between Dick Latessa and Harvey Fierstein, the latter of whom is a hilarious show stealer throughout. Latessa sounds like a factory worker's imitation of Sinatra while Fierstein smacks of Tom Waits. It's cheekily executed, and funny, but also rings through with enough sincerity that you can't help but root for the couple. "Run and Tell That" is a wonderfully authentic slice of black R&B and is far and away the best track on the record. Corey Reynolds and Shayna Steele, the cast's primary black singers, are powerful and explosive, capturing soul music in a pre-Gordy era with utter perfection. The great tragedy of Hairspray is that the two appear in only four musical numbers combined. Their arc, which focuses on the struggle of black musicians to gain a white audience, is easily the best in terms of story and music. It leads me to conclude that this would have been a much better play if that had been the focus, rather than the chubby little white girl who wants to dance with all the hot kids. Finally, the jazzy track "The Big Dollhouse" has a comic noir vibe that complete sells the musical's prison sequence.
The unifying factor behind the successes is that they all have possess a distinctive character that separates them from the rest of the songs. Instead of horns screaming at me, as they do throughout most of the record, these tracks create an atmosphere that thematically ties the action in the lyrics to the music behind them. And that's really where my problem with this record lies. Chicago didn't lovingly recreate the era's musical styles just to do it. The music and effect it had on the characters were as integral to the experience as the characters themselves, and each individual song utilized a different, era relevant style to emphasize the story being told. The genres of the songs were all tailored to frame the conflict between the jazz obsessed leading ladies and everyone else in society who exists outside the subculture. In Hairspray, however, the heart of the story is about finding inner beauty and following one's heart. It's a typical teen story that we've heard a thousand times before, and the music scene serves no other purpose than to provide an excuse for the story and the dance routines. This musical could just as easily have happened in 30s or 70s. The music is really just a bunch of loud fucking noise that vaguely resembles early rock n' roll. If you rearranged many of the compositions, you'd lose practically nothing of value because most of these songs have no individual character. One of the great strengths of rock n' roll is the diversity its fundamental elements can produce, and the complexity of its influences. Yet all the music here feels indistinguishable.
As musicals go, Hairspray is probably a perfectly good one, and the critical and commercial success it's enjoyed certainly seems to indicate as much. But at the end of the day, I just don't have any stomach for this sort of music. One would think that showtunes framed around early rock n' roll would do more for me, but Hairspray fails at imitating that music so spectacularly that I can't take it seriously in that context. It's possible that I'm just being a historic music snob, which I am wont to do. And it's possible that the production's costume design, dance routines and story helped strengthen the atmosphere that Hairspray was clearly aiming for. I wouldn't know, because I'm simply listening to the recording of the songs. But the music taken it and of itself rings hallow for me. At best, it's a passable imitation of great music that I can go listen to any time and at its worst, a cliche collection of obnoxious Broadway song tropes. Either way, it has no place in my collection.
I'd say something mean to you right now, Ethan, but I already forced you to endure Movie 43. I'd say that's punishment enough.
If you liked this, try:
Chicago: A Musical Vaudville - I already mentioned this a few times. Chicago sets out to do many of the same things that Hairspray did but actually manages to succeed in doing them. I'd go with the 1976 original cast recording because it has a few gems that got cut from the revival. It's a fun story with great musical numbers and memorable characters.
Miss Saigon: The Orignal London Cast - A lesser known musical by those of us who don't ever pay attention to them, this is another modern period piece (post-invasion Vietnam, specifically). The difference here is that the music is geared more toward traditional Asian folk than something that Americans would recognize as historic. It also has a lot of interesting things to say about the corrupting influences of capitalism and foreign intervention on the third world cultures they butt up against. Miss Saigon is definitely worth checking out if you're looking into musicals with a more intellectually stimulating side.
40 Original Hits from the Soundtrack of American Graffiti - Less for those looking to discover a newfound taste for Broadway and more for anyone interested in golden era rock n' roll. American Graffiti is a film classic, and is completely saturated with wonderful songs from rock's formative years. If you want an easy primer of the best rock n' roll of the late 50s and early 60s, you can't do much better than this soundtrack.
